I Broke my Colon

Does anyone have superglue? Or Pentasa?

A few years ago I acquired one of those plastic models of a colon that you see at a doctor’s office. It was kind of funny, actually – I must have been feeling pretty darn good on the meds following a colonoscopy, and as I came to I was in the middle of a conversation with a nurse where I was trying to convince her to let me have it. I guess I was pretty convincing under sedation, because next thing I know, it’s riding home with me. It’s awesome! It’s one of my favorite possessions. My colon has polyps, ulcers, and even appendicitis – how cool is that?

Unfortunately, however, it recently took a dive off a high shelf in my office and broke into three pieces. I was going to fix it, but it’s just a little too perfect the way it is now. My broken colon! Maybe I’ll finally fix it the day they find a cure for Crohn’s.

At my last doctor’s appointment, I saw the holy grail. It was what looked like the entire large and small intestine, encased in a see-through carrying case. If I were to start a colon collection, that amazing diseased colon would become my obsession. Too bad I don’t have any colonoscopies scheduled…


2 responses »

  1. Why is it that none of those diagrams or fake “organs” in doctors’ offices have pictures of healthy bowels? They always have EVERY BAD GASTRO DISEASE, like, EVER! That bowel needs way more than Pentasa. 🙂

  2. Pingback: Appointment #1 With Dr. Max « My Stupid Crohn's

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