Monthly Archives: August 2010

The Basket of Christmas Past

A very lovely woman who I’ve worked with frequently over the years sent me a fantastic gift basket, full of chocolates and other gourmet goodies, back in Dec. 2008. Unfortunately, I just got it. Today. Ew!

See the thing is, back then we’d just moved into our new offices, and I went out on maternity leave a week later. Things were a bit crazed, and when this package came it was set aside in a closet. It was just unearthed today. Ew!

I could tell something was up when my coworker Andrew, who handles our mailroom, came up to my office with a funny look on his face holding a basket decorated with holly and pinecones. And as you can see, yes, we opened it. Hey, this is an ad agency, we are NOT going to turn down food. Ew!

Aye La Loo – Toddler Speak

Do you know what that means? “Aye La Loo?” They’re the most beautiful words in the world.

Because last night my toddler looked at me and said, “aye la loo.” It means I love you. Sighhhhhh.

Also, “tee toe” is mosquito, as in she was just bitten by one, and “lellow” is yellow, while “loolow” is noodle, but not a pasta noodle (which she won’t eat,) but a pool noodle (which she wants to play with.)

The Side Effects I Would Want

Why is it that drug side effects always seem to be bad? I was thinking about the side effects from prednisone and how they all seem to be bad, although having more energy was a nice one. So, what if all side effects were good? Here’s what I’d love to see:

Side effects include: general euphoria, giddiness and feeling well-rested. Whiter teeth, silkier hair and an increased vocabulary may occur. 100% of clinical study participants found they lost weight in all the right places, gained weight in all the right places, and generally became more attractive.  Women who are pregnant or breastfeeding while taking this medication will find that their baby is cuter than the other babies and learns his/her alphabet faster and will grow up to always say please and thank you. Women taking this drug may experience pink pouty lips and will no longer need to shave their legs. Men taking this drug will experience thicker hair and shaplier abs. While taking this drug you may experience an easier time working out complex problems, become a better driver and have more fun at parties.

Why Does My Toddler Keep Screaming and Crying Like a Lunatic -or- Dr. Jeckyl and Baby Hyde

My daughter is very advanced. She started walking right at 12 months, knows all her letters, numbers and colors, and has already been nominated for a Pulitzer (by my mother.) Additionally, she isn’t waiting to turn 2 – she’s ready to be terrible RIGHT NOW.

God help me it’s been a long few months.

Last night she was tantruming for so long, that it basically became background noise, even to her. She was literally crying and screaming while she sat and colored in her coloring book, and would pause to ask for another crayon before continuing to color and cry. It was surreal.

Even more surreal is that when she’s not tantruming, she’s this little angel who smiles nonstop. It’s like she’s either extremely happy or extremely upset, with no in-between. And the worst part is that everyone who has a child says “it’s normal.” WHAT? This is normal? It’s like learning that it’s completely normal to wear your undies on your head or to eat through your butt. I don’t care if it’s normal, it’s weird, and it’s completely unnerving. I swear, if you try to talk to my husband or me lately, we’ll either snap at you or fall asleep on your shoulder. We’re tightly wound and unraveled at the same time.

Someone please tell me that early onset of the Terrible Two’s equals early end of the Terrible Two’s? I don’t care if it’s a lie, just humor me.

Power of Girlfriends

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to see two very good friends. One, Lynne, I met the same week that I met my husband and she’s my go-to friend whenever I want to share something weird or funny. Another, Sarah, I met in childbirth class and I credit her with saving me from going completely insane during maternity leave, when I just couldn’t believe I was suddenly in charge of this teeny person. Both of these women, in addition to a small number of other friends, are so very important to me that I consider them sisters, and just spending time with them lifts my spirits like nothing else in the world.

We hear so much about women being nasty, being competitive, being vindictive, especially in the workplace. And yet there are so many times in my actual life when being around other women is just what I need to lift me up, to help me cope. Because dammit life is really, really hard sometimes. Really hard. But it can be so good too, and sometimes I just need to be around people who can show me that. And, hello, go shoe shopping too.

St. Elmo – An Update

Not long after I posted this, my friend Lynne mentioned to me that there actually is a St. Elmo, and he’s patron saint of stomach ailments, and not temper tantrums and confused parents as I’d originally assumed. I finally had a chance to google this, and she’s right! (Lynne you’re so smart.) Funny enough, though, he is patron saint of infants and children with stomach ailments.

You can read more details here – and this being sainthood it’s rather gory. Just a warning.

Sleep Apnea? Really?

So I posted yesterday about how tired I’ve been feeling. I had a check-in appointment with Dr. Max today to discuss how I’ve been doing on the Humira, and mentioned that my only symptoms are fatigue and headaches, and I suspect the headaches are because of how tired I am. I told him I’m nervous that the fatigue is due to Lupus, which theoretically would mean that the Humira is not helping with the Lupus, even though I feel much better otherwise.

Dr. Max said that he thinks I have sleep apnea, and wants me to go to a sleep specialist. Hoping for reassurance, I said to him-

Me: Gee, I don’t know. How would I sleep in a place like that? Seems weird.

Dr. Max: I know, right? It’s freaky. I don’t think I could do it.

Hmm. Thanks for the confidence-builder, Dr. Max.  I’m going to do it anyway, though, because 1-I’m a trooper, and 2-shit, I can’t go on like this anymore. I’m SO TIRED. If something leads me toward a fix, I’m all for it. I also had blood taken in their lab to determine if the fatigue is, in fact, due to Lupus.

A vendor I met via the medical ad agency where I work told me about this machine he has that tests how well you sleep and you use it at home, so I’m going to see if I can borrow it from him and try it out in advance of my sleep study, if I do in fact have to do one. I kind of wonder how the at-home test works versus the at-the-hospital test.