Monthly Archives: February 2012

Glee

I know I’m late to the game, but I just started watching Glee and it’s so addictive. One thing keeps sticking in my head, which is the similarities between Kurt and another adorable singing boy:

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Agorafabulous

I’m currently reading a fantastic book about horrific anxiety called “Agorafabulous: Dispatches from my Bedroom.” It’s a tough read. True, it’s funny – VERY funny. True, the author is a good writer and the words flow well. But also true, it’s painful to get through. Sara Benincasa is such a good writer that you can’t help but feel everything she feels along with her. And what she feels is pain, shame, anxiety, terror – I am only a few chapters in and I know that never before have I fully understood what true anxiety is really like.

I met Sara several years ago – I’m a PR person and she was a reporter. I speak with dozens of reporters, but she stood out because she was so funny and interesting. I remember chatting with her on the phone about nothing in particular because I just couldn’t seem to tear myself away. Her book is like that. Like reading a friend’s journal, and not being able to stop.

I never would have guessed in my truly superficial talks with Sara that she had gone through anything like what she discusses in her book. At the same time, I doubt she would have known that when we were talking, I was battling Crohn’s and – at the time – losing. Because if there’s anything you want when you’re fighting an incurable illness, it’s to be normal.

On the Wagon

I’m not a drinker, but there’s plenty of other wagons for me to fall off of – the healthy eating wagon, for example. Sleeping well wagon. Exercise wagon. And of course, blogging wagon.

Over Christmas I started eating sweets and I justified it by saying that the Christmas season is really only a month.  But then January just seemed to bring more sweets. February brought Valentine’s Day chocolate. When I walked into CVS and saw a display of Cadbury Creme Eggs I knew it was all over for me. I have a mega sweet tooth but it leads directly to my stomach and tush.

At the same time, I started really feeling my lack of exercise. Now that I drive to work, I have to look for excuses to exercise. But it’s easier to find excuses to lay down.

 

I’m getting better, though. I started getting up at 5:15 every day to do an exercise video. I find myself thinking evil thoughts about the aerobics instructors on-screen, but in all fairness I am getting my heart rate up. I haven’t fully figured out how to avoid sweets, but I’m trying to have a cup of tea first each time I crave sweets, to see if it will help the craving go away. And last night was the first that I got to bed on time, just trying to keep myself from getting tired.

 

The other wagon I fell off was the seeing-my-doctor-wagon. I see my GI and rheumatologist regularly enough, but never seem to get around to making a PCP appointment, in fact I didn’t even have one anymore since we moved. So, I made an appointment for next week. I’m trying, trying so hard! We’ll see what happens next…