Chondromalacia patella. It’s not really arthritis behind my knee, as Dr. Max said. The physician assistant at the orthopedist told me it’s more about the way my knee is set. So, here it is, my knee:
As you can see, my kneecap is way over to the right. It’s the same in my right knee, so it was only a matter of time before that one would start to hurt too. He said I can’t run. Then he said I could run, but that I’d have to experiment a lot with pain killers, and that ultimately it’d be about how much I can tolerate.
So how much can I tolerate? I haven’t run in about a week, and because I’m so confused I haven’t really done any exercise. Meanwhile, it’s not like life has become less stressful (although that would be nice, to be able to turn off the stresses of life while you get your act together.) So, I still have stress but don’t have a way to deal with it. I’m grumpy. No, I’m angry. I snap. And because I can’t snap at my coworkers or I’ll face serious reprecussions, I’m snapping at my husband and my daughter. And they don’t deserve that. I don’t like how I’ve been acting over these past few days, and it’s all because of my stupid knees.
The PA said I should go to physical therapy and if possible, get a personal trainer who can help me find an exercise that I love that won’t hurt my knees. I plan to do both.